7-10-17) Suicidal Blade

Suicidal blade

∼∼∼

Dont look, don’t see, dont feel,

as the blade feels me.

I can’t resist the feel of it open my wrist.

I close my eyes, to my surprise,

how i can even feel the life of my soul still beating inside.

Talking  to the walls, like they can

even hear me

at all, 

it’s the only thing

that prevents my fall.

I hear you calling me, asking me 

to push that suicidal blade

aside,

your voice echos in

my ears, so much

light and love , it brings me to tears,

my heart finally realizes

there is no in

the blade , 

changing my mind,

I throw the blade away. 

I reopen my eyes,

now i want is 

life

💖

2-14-17) Pain ?

my-hand

“Pain ?”

~~~~~~~~

This word Pain.

what is it ?.

Is it a thorn ?.

Is it the past ?.

something worn ?.

No, its life’s reality, that

almost said good-bye,

as I fought for my last breath its finality and

yet temporary death.

Did I see a light ?. was it through

my minds window ?.

should I lie ?.

NO !.

for it was not long enough for me

to know.

so now I continue

to live in this life’s

glow,

holding this unknown book of truth

yet to be told.

some day I will know .

~~~~~~

3-31-16) Lights Out

fb354f5db5730485efe05e6e3eac4df3

 

Light’s Out.

~~~

Lights out, going dark,

feeling the signs of death coming over me.

yet at the same time, memories

of the light are

too far from my own

mind

sight.

Visions of my awakening, feeling

the love of the one

who has not

forsaken

Me.

his love surrounding me,

sending me back,

giving me

another chance at life, to look further at life’s

continuing glance as I dance

in life’s spiral dance.

Fleeting, flying, seeing into my own

mirror

of my soul.

showing me where i now should

go.

In time I will know.

~~~~~~~~~

NOTE:

normally i don’t give the meaning behind my poems.

but on this one i will. on march 12th-2016, early Saturday morning, i had a sever Asthma attack, all’s i remember is telling my man to call 911 and saying “god please don’t let me die”as i black out and fainted.

the ambulance and firetruck, came to our door in 2 minutes, and maybe worked on me for 15 minutes or less, you see when they came, i was dead, they saved my life that morning, if it was not for them and all the people at the hospital, this little poem would not exist.

i’m so damn glad i’m alive, now i’m on the medicine i need to be on, i hope my health, my Asthma continue’s to get better.

Asthma is no joke, it came back like a bad dream. now i have to learn all over again to deal with it .

7-6-15) Why ?

“Why”

~~~~

Why do you tell me lies ?.

you tell me that you

listen,

you tell me

that you know,

you even tell me you care.

Problem is

I

don’t see you there

or here .

My decision to decide, I made

looking into my own

eye’s ,

a reflection in

the mirror ,

a reflection without

lies,

it come’s to no

surprise

that the existence come’s

from within.

a place where there is no sin.

for my own life

now begins.

11-16-14) Suicidal Glove

Suicidal Glove

~~~~~~

why, why,

these locked feelings

inside,

like a tight fit glove going for the

ride.

deceit, lack of trust,

just like the color of rust.

running, flowing , a hotbed of blood.

your dishonesty,  , not even the equivalent of love.

i dare you to show me this light,

i dare you to get me to

keep

my life,

as i sit here holding this knife.

how do i begin this ?.

or do i even end

this ?.

guess what, you lose ,

for only i hold the key to my own life.

why is the hour-glass still full ?, why is there just my own foot prints in the sand ?.

my shadow no longer fallows me .

can’t you see, can you even hear

me ?.

i no longer wear the glove

on my hand,

first i must write my name

in the sand.

~~~~~