11-19-14) “wintry cry”

November 19, 2014

“Wintry Cry”


sing me a


sing me a lullaby,

pierce my heart with your deadly


sing me to sleep in the dead of

winter ,

i want your words to feel like a


open my eyes like wintry  tears of snow

flake glitter.


11-16-14) note to the readers

November 16, 2014

no dont worry , i’m not depressed , and i would never kill my self.  some cheer full stuff coming , lately i just wanted to go there in my brain, i’m ok really.

hugs  !!!!!!!!

11-16-14) Suicidal Glove

November 16, 2014

Suicidal Glove


why, why,

these locked feelings


like a tight fit glove going for the


deceit, lack of trust,

just like the color of rust.

running, flowing , a hotbed of blood.

your dishonesty,  , not even the equivalent of love.

i dare you to show me this light,

i dare you to get me to


my life,

as i sit here holding this knife.

how do i begin this ?.

or do i even end

this ?.

guess what, you lose ,

for only i hold the key to my own life.

why is the hour-glass still full ?, why is there just my own foot prints in the sand ?.

my shadow no longer fallows me .

can’t you see, can you even hear

me ?.

i no longer wear the glove

on my hand,

first i must write my name

in the sand.


7-19-14) Sadness In Loss

July 19, 2014

“Sadness In loss”


What can i say.

i have no desire to pray,

sorry to end my life this way.

i so tried to keep

my suicidal thoughts at


but the sadness of my


could not keep my

inner pain away.

this sadness,

like a knock at the door,

that i can no longer


do i answer with a yes or do so with no.

the pain

in my head from arguing with my own thoughts,

as i reach for the door.

my words are lost as i hit the floor.

my memories are nothing



NOTE To the Reader:

in memory to those i lost to this sadness.

3-30-14) “Can’t Sleep”

March 30, 2014

“can’t Sleep”


As i lie here awake,

thinking about all my mistakes.

this one not being one,

for my past i cast


not out of ego

or pride.

for my spirit now

fallows no lie.

fantasy is replaced with a new face.

open eye knowledge i have put in its place.

my life is no race, in time the

hour-glass has broken

it’s chime.

the last song i heard

is the song of mine.

life is reality

with a

sigh ,

blood like truth trickling

from the corner of my eye, this is



2-18-14) Two sided

February 18, 2014

“Two Sided”



once could see


clear in my mind.

I once


now these visions

are leaving me like

a two-sided tree.

once a believer.

the other side now a true thinker.

now knowing.

an agnostic searching for what’s real.

looking long and hard,

but not too far.

my final choice now made, as I

now observe what’s around


I need no candle,

for truth is now my chosen

hindsight .

9-30-13) Be Forever Free

September 30, 2013

“Be Forever Free”

(note about this poem, is at the bottom)


when your time comes,

be forever free.

forever free like the endless sea.

your love will live in our hearts, like a sliver

in our memories,

never ending, forever sending.

when your time comes,

be forever free,

forever sending to the highest mountain

in your dream.

forever flying, forever free.

when your time comes, be forever free,

like a never ending river,

where your love will be remembered forever.

be forever free as far as wisdom

will let you see.

fallow your vision, fallow your dream.

fallow it like the endless sea and be forever free


“now why i wrote Poem”

normally i dont explain poems, i know i will rewrite this one here,

did not know i left so much out in my time of grief and sadness, when i had it printed in my Moms obits.

i left out the part of the eagle , there was supposed to be an eagle in the poem.

my Mom died of cancer, at the age of 66, she would be 81 today, if she was still alive.

before she passed away two things happened,

1) she dreamed about being in the mountains and the air was so clean and she felt happy.

2) while she was sitting on the couch staring out of her sliding glass doors an eagle swooped down and through her yard and flew off, she loved that.

so ya i might rewrite this poem. after all i was not thinking straight .

i miss her still.



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