7-6-15) Why ?



Why do you tell me lies ?.

you tell me that you


you tell me

that you know,

you even tell me you care.

Problem is


don’t see you there

or here .

My decision to decide, I made

looking into my own

eye’s ,

a reflection in

the mirror ,

a reflection without


it come’s to no


that the existence come’s

from within.

a place where there is no sin.

for my own life

now begins.

11-16-14) Suicidal Glove

Suicidal Glove


why, why,

these locked feelings


like a tight fit glove going for the


deceit, lack of trust,

just like the color of rust.

running, flowing , a hotbed of blood.

your dishonesty,  , not even the equivalent of love.

i dare you to show me this light,

i dare you to get me to


my life,

as i sit here holding this knife.

how do i begin this ?.

or do i even end

this ?.

guess what, you lose ,

for only i hold the key to my own life.

why is the hour-glass still full ?, why is there just my own foot prints in the sand ?.

my shadow no longer fallows me .

can’t you see, can you even hear

me ?.

i no longer wear the glove

on my hand,

first i must write my name

in the sand.


7-19-14) Sadness In Loss

“Sadness In loss”


What can i say.

i have no desire to pray,

sorry to end my life this way.

i so tried to keep

my suicidal thoughts at


but the sadness of my


could not keep my

inner pain away.

this sadness,

like a knock at the door,

that i can no longer


do i answer with a yes or do so with no.

the pain

in my head from arguing with my own thoughts,

as i reach for the door.

my words are lost as i hit the floor.

my memories are nothing



NOTE To the Reader:

in memory to those i lost to this sadness.

3-30-14) “Can’t Sleep”

“can’t Sleep”


As i lie here awake,

thinking about all my mistakes.

this one not being one,

for my past i cast


not out of ego

or pride.

for my spirit now

fallows no lie.

fantasy is replaced with a new face.

open eye knowledge i have put in its place.

my life is no race, in time the

hour-glass has broken

it’s chime.

the last song i heard

is the song of mine.

life is reality

with a

sigh ,

blood like truth trickling

from the corner of my eye, this is



2-18-14) Two sided

“Two Sided”



once could see


clear in my mind.

I once


now these visions

are leaving me like

a two-sided tree.

once a believer.

the other side now a true thinker.

now knowing.

an agnostic searching for what’s real.

looking long and hard,

but not too far.

my final choice now made, as I

now observe what’s around


I need no candle,

for truth is now my chosen

hindsight .