7-6-15) Why ?

“Why”

~~~~

Why do you tell me lies ?.

you tell me that you

listen,

you tell me

that you know,

you even tell me you care.

Problem is

I

don’t see you there

or here .

My decision to decide, I made

looking into my own

eye’s ,

a reflection in

the mirror ,

a reflection without

lies,

it come’s to no

surprise

that the existence come’s

from within.

a place where there is no sin.

for my own life

now begins.

11-16-14) Suicidal Glove

Suicidal Glove

~~~~~~

why, why,

these locked feelings

inside,

like a tight fit glove going for the

ride.

deceit, lack of trust,

just like the color of rust.

running, flowing , a hotbed of blood.

your dishonesty,  , not even the equivalent of love.

i dare you to show me this light,

i dare you to get me to

keep

my life,

as i sit here holding this knife.

how do i begin this ?.

or do i even end

this ?.

guess what, you lose ,

for only i hold the key to my own life.

why is the hour-glass still full ?, why is there just my own foot prints in the sand ?.

my shadow no longer fallows me .

can’t you see, can you even hear

me ?.

i no longer wear the glove

on my hand,

first i must write my name

in the sand.

~~~~~

7-19-14) Sadness In Loss

“Sadness In loss”

~~~~~~

What can i say.

i have no desire to pray,

sorry to end my life this way.

i so tried to keep

my suicidal thoughts at

bay.

but the sadness of my

loss

could not keep my

inner pain away.

this sadness,

like a knock at the door,

that i can no longer

ignore,

do i answer with a yes or do so with no.

the pain

in my head from arguing with my own thoughts,

as i reach for the door.

my words are lost as i hit the floor.

my memories are nothing

more.

~~~~~

NOTE To the Reader:

in memory to those i lost to this sadness.

3-30-14) “Can’t Sleep”

“can’t Sleep”

~~~~~~

As i lie here awake,

thinking about all my mistakes.

this one not being one,

for my past i cast

aside.

not out of ego

or pride.

for my spirit now

fallows no lie.

fantasy is replaced with a new face.

open eye knowledge i have put in its place.

my life is no race, in time the

hour-glass has broken

it’s chime.

the last song i heard

is the song of mine.

life is reality

with a

sigh ,

blood like truth trickling

from the corner of my eye, this is

mine.

~~~~~~~~~~

2-18-14) Two sided

“Two Sided”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I

once could see

visions

clear in my mind.

I once

believed.

now these visions

are leaving me like

a two-sided tree.

once a believer.

the other side now a true thinker.

now knowing.

an agnostic searching for what’s real.

looking long and hard,

but not too far.

my final choice now made, as I

now observe what’s around

me.

I need no candle,

for truth is now my chosen

hindsight .